asia · thailand

A Surprising Paradise on Koh Phangan and How Not to Survive the Full Moon Party

With all our concerns with taking Songserm to the islands, we were left waiting outside the train station for hours – but as it turned out, that was the only bad part of our journey with them.

I was as uncultural as possible by getting KFC as my final meal in Bangkok, and my dessert was from Dunkin’ Donuts. As a reward, I missed the very cultural 6pm singing of the national anthem as everyone in the train station stopped and stood up to join in. (Ash says it was extremely surreal)

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One of the incredible sunsets we caught on Koh Phangan. (this is probably my most liked photo on Facebook to date!)

Cut to an hour later and our bus was due – and within minutes one had pulled up for Koh Tao. The one for Koh Phangan would be here shortly. Another two hours later, our bus still wasn’t here and people were getting restless. Someone got out a neon flashing diablo, probably thinking it would be the only one at the Full Moon Party.

We got chatting to a Canadian couple, they went to 7-Eleven and picked us up some snacks, the bus still wasn’t turning up.

Finally, at around 11pm, our bus arrived. Our experience was off to a good start. Everyone surged forward and somehow our bags ended up being put in last, which was worrying after the stories we’d heard about things being stolen and bags being rummaged through – ours were the easiest to access.

It also meant that by the time we got on the bus, all the seats were taken apart from the ones at the back which didn’t recline – while the ones in front reclined OVER our seats so we had no space.

As it turns out, we had the back row to ourselves so we could lay down with our valuables well covered by the seats in front. And amazingly, I slept for most of the journey, which is more than most people on the bus could say.

We arrived in Chumpon around 5am for the first boat – a surprise because I thought we were going to Surat Thani – with all our belongings present and intact. We waited through the beautiful sunrise and were ushered onto the boat, where we got our first glimpse of Koh Tao and watched Now You See Me on the TV screen, which I really enjoyed. And then watched it again, because it was a bloody long journey.

And then we finally arrived on Koh Phangan and it was time to negotiate the songthaews. We were quoted 200 baht EACH to our bungalow and we haggled her down to 100 – but when we got on and paid, she asked for the extra 200. I got angry, she got angry, I got off, Ash got embarrassed, but I wasn’t having it.

Unfortunately, we ended up on another songthaew which also charged 200 each. I knew the islands would be expensive, but I was not expecting them to charge 12 people £4 each for a 15 minute journey!! That would be outrageous in the UK, let alone Thailand.

Begrudgingly, we set off in the opposite direction to where I thought our bungalow was, and I’m not quite sure how we’d messed up so badly. We were near Haad Yao, on the opposite side of the island to Haad Rin, and I thought I’d booked somewhere along the south coast.

When we arrived, the owner told us their bungalows don’t have hot water at the moment and so would we like to stay at the resort next door, where the bungalows are bigger too. A bumpy bike ride with her husband, our luggage precariously balanced, took us to a beautiful beach lined with bungalows and little apartments, and immediately all my regrets dissipated.

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THIS was our paradise, and we could have stayed here for at least a week. We had a 7 Eleven and several restaurants just around the corner, and the Wipe Out course (which we didn’t do!!) was up the road. We spent 3 days in the sea with fish swimming between our feet, and when we were out of the sea we were lounging on the beach and laying in our hammock.

But we were here for one reason; the same reason as most of this island’s tourists visit. Tomorrow was the Full Moon Party!

That evening, we were picked up by Megan and Ellie, two friends from ENP, and they took us to a pub Megan had found owned by someone from Southampton, her home city. It felt completely British, we had roast dinners, Ash had an actual PINT of beer, and to be honest, it was wonderful. Not cheap by Thai standards at all, but worth it!

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A dangerous walk into the sea with the camera!!! At this point, the water had barely covered my ankles.

The following afternoon, we headed down to the main town of Thongsala to explore the walking market before the shenanigans began. People get marketed out – but we never did, and although this one was a little more expensive than most, the food was fantastic, the jewellery beautiful and the atmosphere brilliant. We didn’t see many party revellers at all; just people from all walks of life – but I’d be interested to see what it’s like when it’s not full moon.

6pm was when I made my first mistake. Ash and I shared a small meal and I washed it down with a strong rum and coke. The first of my five pre-drinks.

My second mistake was only eating that small meal.

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Our friend using her painting skills on everyone at the hostel!

So when we finally left Megan and Ellie’s hostel for Haad Rin beach at 11pm (a bit later than I wanted to!), all neon-ed up and raring to go, I was probably ill-prepared for an all-nighter of alcohol.

And I was concerned for the others and made sure they got water, while forgetting to drink any myself. Which is probably why, at 3am, I was passed out on the floor. The first time I’ve EVER passed out drunk.

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My bucket, with my favourite Thai “whiskey” (it’s rum. Stop pretending, Thailand. IT’S RUM), Sangsom.

BUCKETS ARE DEADLY, PEOPLE. Ash somehow got me back without letting me fall off our songthaew, and he managed to get me onto the thing in the first place which sounds like it was a feat in itself. How embarrassing.

The good thing is, I do remember a lot of the night. We danced on podiums, sang our hearts out to Queen and Bon Jovi, and actually had a LOT of fun. We saw most of the goings on along the beach, and we didn’t go in the sea! And I’m sure if I’d eaten properly, not had 5 rum & cokes/vodka drinks beforehand, and drunk water half way through my bucket, I would have been fine. So there’s my advice to you: DON’T do what I did.

Am I annoyed we didn’t make it to the sunrise? Not really, actually. And at least I got to nurse my hangover in a hammock.

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Me in our hammock. Not hungover.

And when the time came to leave with 20,000 other people, I looked back at the queue to get on the boat with a bit of sadness. The one reason anyone comes here, and most of them miss out on what the island REALLY offers: stunning mountain roads, coral reefs virtually on the shore – and, if you look in the right places, a complete sense of paradise.

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