A couple of months before I found myself taking a detour through Bratislava on my way home from the Balkans, I watched EuroTrip for the first time.
If you haven’t seen this totally ridiculous, slapstick stupid American comedy, what were you even doing in the 00’s? Me? I was listening to Scotty Doesn’t Know, but this year was the first time I actually watched the movie, despite it being entirely directed at my demographic when it came out and it was even about backpacking Europe.
Anyway if you haven’t seen it, there’s a scene where they are dropped off in the middle of what looks like a post-apocalyptic Eastern bloc city (or… Pripyat) where a dog’s eating a hand and the dodgy lorry driver that took them there runs off saying “ha haaaaa! They’ll never find me in Bratislava!” They ask a man if they can catch a train to Berlin, and he goes, “yes! Very soon! They are building it now!”
…Bratislava is nothing like EuroTrip.
Bratislava is, in fact, an incredibly pretty city that I did not expect at all.
It didn’t feel like that when I arrived late at night and in my defiance against taking taxis, I walked from the train station (which had been built and was very much in service) to my hostel, just outside the old town. It was dark, deathly quiet, and the streets that engulfed my hostel were even darker and quieter. Even worse, I had chosen it for being near the main road from the train station, which you can’t walk along; I had to navigate dark, winding side streets instead. In hindsight, it was probably a stupid idea, but importantly, I made it. And only just – the bar, where you collect your key after hours, was just closing up when I got there.
In the morning, I needed desperately to do laundry, and when the hostel charged a fortune, I expected the facilities to actually work. I found out after washing my clothes that the dryer did not, which left me with an entire bag of wet clothes to haul off to my next hostel (long story: didn’t have much internet in the Balkans, booked a good hostel last minute which was sold out the night I arrived, so I decided to book somewhere closer to the train station for one night, plus you’re allowed to book yourself an overpriced boutique hostel once in a while, right?).
Bratislava was making me cranky after 10 days of early mornings, and all I wanted to do was go and find a cute cafe and eat waffles or something.
BINGO.
This café probably marked the beginning of my love affair with Bratislava. As I took in my beautiful surroundings, watched tours of people gawping at the buildings as they arrived from their river cruises, and kept re-adjusting my carrier bag of heavy clothes that was constantly trying to slop over and send my knickers flying out onto the path, I realised I’d made a good decision stopping here.
I took a short route through the old town to get to the hostel out on the other side – as much as I was enjoying how pretty the town was, I needed to offload my stuff. I’d chosen the hostel deliberately because it had fantastic reviews, it was reasonably priced and best of all, it was MUSIC THEMED! Sadly I was missing out on their live shows, which would have been a really fun addition.
Before I headed back into town, I had one stop to check off: THE BLUE CHURCH!
I happened across a photo of this church shortly before I visited and immediately put it at the top of my list. (Yep, above the castle and the weird UFO building!)
I think it’s easy to see why – it’s one of the best churches I’ve ever seen!
It does have an official name – the Church Of St Elizabeth – but it really is just known as the Blue Church, to the point that even its Wikipedia page is called “Blue Church” (capitalised).
From the church, I decided to do a loop along the river and back into the old town to explore it properly. What really struck me was just how small Bratislava’s old town is. I always found it a shame that Bratislava is seen as a “day stop” between Prague and Budapest, or from Vienna, or on a river cruise. I was glad to have more than a day there, but quite honestly, I could have seen it all in a day (and, in fact, virtually did).
Once I’d taken approximately 1,985,402 photos, I took a detour up to the Presidential Palace and promptly saw a car crash into a bus right outside it. It happened right in front of me as I waited to cross the road! Incredibly, the car driver, who had pulled out of the inside lane INTO THE BUS, hurled abuse at the bus driver and drove off in a cloud of dust!!! There was then mayhem as the bus had to stop in the middle of the road and let all the passengers off. I wasn’t sure whether to stay around as a witness!
After that drama, I headed uphill for Bratislava’s main landmark.
Of course, no visit to Bratislava is complete without a trip up to the castle overlooking the city. I didn’t go inside, and it’s not really the prettiest castle in the world, but it was worth it for the views from the top.
Naturally, I had found a crazy restaurant online and made a beeline for it as soon as the evening hit, along with another girl from the hostel.
It’s an underground KGB-themed bar!!
Unfortunately we asked for food and they said that they didn’t serve any, and we would have to go upstairs to eat at a restaurant. It confused me because I’ve seen photos and reviews of the food. The place is literally listed as a restaurant on Google.
Luckily we had passed another place that I’d read good reviews for, the simply named Slovak Pub, and we ended up going there instead. It was better than I could have hoped for!
I indulged in a traditional plate of potato dumplings and sheep’s cheese (bryndzové halušky) and ended up washing it down afterwards with alcoholic tea. Not just alcoholic tea, but 62% alcoholic tea. What the hell is this and why hasn’t the UK come up with this bizarre concoction?! It turns out it’s a pretty popular spirit in Slovakia!
Bratislava’s weirdness didn’t end there – the following night, after a long day in Vienna, I bumped into a dancing polar bear and thought I was delirious, and on my final day, I was lured into an underground tea bar in a bomb shelter only to find myself accidentally becoming a hippie for a couple of hours.
(No, seriously – what would you expect of a tea place with that sign? Awesome, unique British-themed experience, right? Not… feeling like you’re in a Nepalese tea house.)
Oh, and in case you thought I was joking about the polar bear:
But of course, all these quirky additions to the town just made me love the place more.
On my last day, after a day over the border in Vienna, I went for breakfast with the girl I’d befriended in the hostel, and we made the most of taking silly photos with some of the statues around town!
After she left for her bus, I crossed the river, thinking that I might go up into the bizarre UFO building, but instead just took photos from the riverside – this is one of the best views in town of the castle!
Back in town, I wandered down an alleyway that I somehow hadn’t found before, and stumbled across a Scottish pub.
I ended up having more potato dumplings for lunch (not in the Scottish pub). Honest verdict? They are freaking delicious, but the sheep’s cheese and bacon makes it really rich, and I struggled to finish it to the point I’m still not sure if I could have another plate even now!! It’s too much!
I think I walked every street of the old town – and most more than once – just to take in all the pretty buildings, find all the strange statues and generally fall in love with the place.
For me, Bratislava was the perfect mix of beautiful, quirky, eastern, western, and touristy but not overly so. It was unexpected, yet felt comfortably familiar.
But most of all, I think it finds it tough being shouldered in with Prague, Vienna and Budapest an hour or two away on every side. Bratislava should be recognised in its own right and deserves to hit the limelight by itself for once.
Or maybe it should just stay where it is, and the people who know, know.
I visited Bratislava on the way back from my Balkans trip. While you’re here, do you fancy reading more about the Balkans? Here are some of the highlights:
⭐ Sofia: A City Of Colour And Contrast
⭐ Mostar: The Gem Of Bosnia
⭐ Surviving Dubrovnik – And Falling In Love With It
⭐ Hiking & Heating Up In Kotor, Montenegro
⭐ Adventures In Albania: Two Hours In Tirana Is Not Enough
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An Orcadian Abroad 
Thanks for letting me know about this post! So glad you enjoyed your time in Bratislava and that things turned around for you after the bad hostel and laundry incident. The blue church looks amazing! And can you remember the name of that brunch place? I’ve been craving french toast!
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Ahh thanks so much for reading! YES, sorry I actually put it in the photo tag but forgot to put it in the caption / post (you know, where people can SEE it lol). It’s called Mondieu! I think there are a couple of them, this one is by a little square with a fountain. It was so good that I went there twice! Haha.
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Thank you! Funnily enough, I had one restaurant recommendation on my list that I has seen on another blog and it was Mondieu. So good to know it’s recommended again!
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Wow, what an adventure you had in Bratislava! My visit there was very sterile compared to yours when I went with a day tour in 2016. Good to hear that, despite the rough start with the hostel check-in and laundry, it didn’t deter you from having a good time. Never heard of the Blue Church before, and now I want to go back just to see it! Alcoholic tea sounds delicious, especially at 60%+! The KGB bar sounds like an experience, too. There’s so much to these Central European countries, and I’m happy to see that you’re uncover them one city at a time!
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“Sterile” haha – well you know me, I’m always on the look out for weird things! lol and the alcoholic tea was definitely weird. I bought a miniature for my best friend who is tea obsessed! I found the blue church on someone’s blog when I was researching, I’d never heard of it before that either! I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst place to have to go back to. 😉
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Yup, “sterile” as in we got the cookie-cutter version of Bratislava: the castle, Old Town, and the “Man at Work” statue. It was only four hours in town, so the tour was just a taster of the capital. Looks like there’s so much more to Bratislava than just what I saw, and your post confirms that!
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Love this – Bratislava looks so pretty and fun. Gimme some of that alcoholic tea!
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Haha the alcoholic tea was so unexpected! But yes I totally recommend Bratislava, it’s really, really pretty! 🙂
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Clazz, I LOVE that you always find the coolest quirkiest places! Bratislava sounds (and looks) awesome! I love the look of the church, the buildings and all those statues!
p.s.I love that you found alcoholic tea – was it any good…or just a bit odd?
p.p.s Did you manage to dry your clothes in the end without losing any pants?
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Hehe thanks Josy! ❤ It's such a lovely city – and that CHURCH! It's so cool!
The alcoholic tea was definitely weird. It was okay actually, but really strong (unsurprisingly lol). I bought a miniature for my best friend who's obsessed with tea. 🙂 And yes!! I put everything in the dryer while I went back out for a wander lol. Thank goodness!! 😂
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Okay, now I want to go to Bratislava!
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You should! 😉 I really recommend it!
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I don’t remember anything about Eurotrip but you’ve made me want to watch it again lol.
I so resonate with your vibe when you first arrived, with the navigation problems and broken dryer and all that – I love that you’ve included this personal touch to the story of your time in Bratislava instead of just the itinerary itself, it gives the whole thing a dose of reality and makes the aspects you enjoyed stand out that much more.
I’ve seen pictures of that beautiful blue church, but never of the Presidential Palace – I like the architecture and bright blue fountain! Your meal at the Slovak Pub looks delicious. Man I really love Eastern European food; it’s not something I knew about myself until I visited Slovenia but I want to do more food tours of this area now. WHAT is alcoholic tea?? I need to taste this. And go to that underground tea room too. Lol the Old Town in Ljubljana has a dancing polar bear too, why is this a thing??
I’d love to visit here for the hiking too, the mountainous areas around Bratislava and in Slovakia in general look impressive.
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Ahhh thank you so much Claire! Yeah it seems like a lot of blogs have taken away the personal aspect of travel, but I always followed blogs specifically *for* that! So I’m glad people still appreciate them. 🙂 I hadn’t seen much of the palace either but I liked it! Not quite as cool as the blue church, but you know, that’s pretty hard to beat. 😉
Hahahaha, I need to get to Ljubljana (not for the polar bear!). That’s hilarious that you saw one too! It looks so, so pretty there. And I need to try more Eastern European food, for sure!
Also, EuroTrip is so bad but so good hahaha!
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I just tried to google “what’s up with the dancing polar bear costume in ljubljana” and then “bratislava” and literally nothing at all pops up – it’s a mystery!
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Hahahahahaha! I think it’s better that way!
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Bratislava looks amazing, and that blue church! Wow. The food looks incredible too, although I love how you managed to find a Scottish pub over there! The underground tea bar looks fun.
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lol I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Scottish pub! Like you get Irish bars EVERYWHERE but never Scottish! I was so taken aback hahaha.
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Amazing Post my Friend keep posting !!!!
bratislava is one of my favourite city in europe!
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Thank you!
Btw, I’ve removed the link from your comment, but people can still find your blog on your name. 🙂
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I would never have thought Bratislava looked so beautiful! Thanks so much for showing me the beauty of this city!
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Right?! My brain was constantly going “wow, that’s pretty!” haha. Thanks for reading!
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Such a lovely post! I totally forgot about that movie. Will need to watch it again, but its true. American movies portray Eastern Europe and Balkans like they are still in communist times and there is huge war going on, when in fact these are some of the most beautiful landscape and towns, friendly people and such yummy food.
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Haha I know, perceptions are funny! Thanks so much for reading. 🙂
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Great post about our beautiful home country sweetie! It is such a shame that people flock to Vienna or Prague and they miss Slovakia.
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Thanks so much! Really, really enjoyed it there. I think it’s a shame too – Vienna is nice and all, but I preferred Bratislava!
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Well, we are glad to hear that! Slovakia has many hidden gem waiting to be discover. Furher away from Bratislava you go, it gets even more picturesque 🤩
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Many of the smaller European cities like this one can be very appealing. if you use Eurail, you can easily get a feel for making connections to them near major cities.
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Yes! I really fancy taking the train (or bus) between a few cities like this. Especially being in Bratislava where I could hop on a bus literally to Vienna, Prague or Budapest, and be in any of them in like an hour.
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Just discovered your blog and I love your writing style, you’re a fab storyteller! I actually lived in Bratislava for a year until recently and it’s always so nice to see people bigging it up. It is a beautiful and highly underrated city. I do want more tourists to recognise it because it’s great to have that money going in to Slovakia. If you ever go back definitely venture outside of the city and see places like Devin Castle, and there’s an amazing spa island in a town called Piestany I highly recommend!
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Ahh thank you so much for your kind comment! This has made my day. 🙂 A couple of people recommended Devin Castle actually, but I didn’t really have time! Next time, for sure!
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I really liked your blog. I plan in 2020 trip to bratislava. I look forward to the trip). Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy Bratislava!
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Oh yeah, I remember the sign of an old Babushka with finger to lips indicating silence and KGB Pub. Never went inside but looks amazing.
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Agree with you, Bratislava deserves at least two to three days. It was a great day out but I had wished I could have stayed longer and explore the town after hours a bit more. Like you, I was surprised by how pretty it is. So, so, charming. Mondieu Café is still there and I have had it on my list but decided to go to a nearby cheesecake café instead. But giving Mondieu another chance for another visit as this French Toast looks divine.
Carolin | Solo Travel Story
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